Ares jokes
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Why can’t orphans play GTA?
Because they are not wanted.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Why are orphans not on this?
They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-
I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
Why are orphans prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")