Ares jokes

As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.

"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"

The Twin Towers are just like genders.

There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive topic.

What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?

Babies are healthier.

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Like if you think oily men are hot.

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

I told her roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you! MF😅🤣😂

Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?

There used to be two but now there's one...

What are intelligent people in the US called?

"Tourist."

Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Why are colds such bad robbers?

Because they're so easy to catch.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.

Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.

Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*

Friend: Are you okay?

Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!

What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."