Ares jokes
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
Okay, okay, why [are] people askin[g] where I went[?] I[']m always on this website. Never think I[']m not.
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!
So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
Why are french fries rude?
I’m gay because I nutted on the wall, now there are walnuts.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"