Ares jokes
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
A meme
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.