Ares jokes
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
What are orphans' least favorite movie?
The Promised Neverland.
What are an orphan's least favorite shows?
"Full House" and "Fuller House."
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.