Ares jokes
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
What is Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈