Ares jokes
I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.
Just kidding.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.