Ares jokes
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!