Ares jokes
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Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!
Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Why are some girls scared easily?
They don't have balls.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!