Ares jokes
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
Roses are red, violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there with you, But not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!