Ares jokes
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Me: Are you okay?
Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!