Arent jokes
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas!"
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.
So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"
The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.