Arent jokes
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny, period.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"