Arent jokes
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet all the koalifications!
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
Jokes about the poor aren't rich.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.