Appearance jokes

Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?

Wife: You have good eyesight.

Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.

Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.

Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.

It's also why he has no eyes.

Your face.

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.

Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.

You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.

Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.

Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.

Your reflection.

Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.

Why don't you have a life?

Because you're ugly.

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

I'll put white in your smile.