Appearance jokes

Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?

Pretty nuts!

When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.

You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!

What's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.

What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?

Your next door grumpy old neighbor.

Bully: Your mom gay.

Me: There's something on your chin.

Bully: Where?

Me: No, on your fourth one.

"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?

If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.

Site nearly as dead as my trim.

Yo mama fat as fuck.

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

Levi and Andrew are fat.

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.

How to become a monkey?

Put a red dot on your forehead.