Appearance jokes
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.
Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.
Charlotte looks like a sperm.
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.
Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.