Appearance jokes
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
"G.I. Jane 2, can't wait to see it!"
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!