Appearance jokes
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
Your mom's hot.
My face.
Memes
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Site nearly as dead as my trim.
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
Yo mama fat as fuck.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!