Appearance Jokes

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?

Pretty nuts!

Your mom's hot.

My face.

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!

LOLOL

A photo of a doll with light brown hair, blue eyes, a wide nose and a slightly unsettling smile. The text reads "When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the self checkout camera."

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.

When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.

What's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.

What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?

Your next door grumpy old neighbor.

Bully: Your mom gay.

Me: There's something on your chin.

Bully: Where?

Me: No, on your fourth one.

"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?

If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.

Site nearly as dead as my trim.

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.

Yo mama fat as fuck.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!

So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!

The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."

The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."