Appearance jokes

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?

It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

What did one needle say to the other?

"You be looking sharp!"

What's white and comes in little cans?

Michael Jackson.

I'm bald.

Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."