Appearance jokes

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.

What did one needle say to the other?

"You be looking sharp!"

What's white and comes in little cans?

Michael Jackson.

I'm bald.

Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.

Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."