Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
I'm bald.
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
