Appearance jokes

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?

They both got bleached!

The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."

The commander starts answering:

"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"

"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"

"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"

After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:

"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.

It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

(Bully) Boy, you ugly!

(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!

Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

Why do orphans look so ugly?

Because they have a face not even a mother could love.