Appearance jokes

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."

The commander starts answering:

"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"

"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"

"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"

After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:

"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from the feminists.

Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.

Your face is a joke.

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.