Appearance jokes

A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.

The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.

Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.

Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.

Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Ur fat.

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?

Slow and steady wins the race...

...but it will never fix your ugly face.

Yo momma so ugly when she the and ugly weird the and she ugly!

Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.

I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.

Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹

That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹

If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.