I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
