My bother apparently has this thing called "asthma", anyways I took his vape away today and he was lying on the floor gasping for air lol. He must really be addicted to it.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace.... but apparently it was too weak.
Today my biology teacher asked meh what's commonly found in a cell .................. And apparently black people isn't the right answer
My favorite dark joke are orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
My Dad was mowing the grass today, I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
You know the song I saw mommy and Santa kissing apparently santas the mailman
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike? Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady apparently it’s “harassment!”
So apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
What is it called when u whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
I got written up on 'Take Your Daughter To Work Day.' Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”
Apparently Steven Hawkins was a stand up kind of guy
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital, apparently the doctor said to the nurse you can discharge Mr Hawking now, so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Why is Putin and Zelensky neighbors? Apparently a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
