Apparent jokes

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!

Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.

Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.