Apparent jokes
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like? Go look in the mirror.
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.