Apparent Jokes

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers? A: No, what happened? Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!

the steven hawkings space telescope will be launched next year, apparently it will have four wheels and run off windows 7

For soo long I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart but apparently there is something in your heart so I already have scissors in my heart

Did you hear about the new doggy condos?

Apparently they are now leashing!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!

Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test..

Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back? Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.

A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked. “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?” He replied, “Yes I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.

EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WebMD: Cancer.

When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup is consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not."

Knock knock, who's there? stranger, stranger who? stranger why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?

apparently imma category for jokes now. hmm... ok! #HOMIEZ4Life

P.S. Say "crack my finger", now say it backwords:)

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat Vehicles and Tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.