New Apparent Jokes

I got written up on 'Take Your Daughter To Work Day.' Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!

Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?

Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.

A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”

He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.

EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

WebMD: Cancer.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

Apparently terrorists and Japs are the same; they both went kamikaze.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

The punchline isn’t apparent.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”