Apparent jokes
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.