50+ Apparent Jokes

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

The punchline isn’t apparent.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.

A man with glasses and a beard is talking to the camera with the text "So apparently the rape advice hotline is for 'victims'" at the bottom. The man looks confused.

How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...

I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."

Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him.

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

More than ten, apparently.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”