Answer

Answer jokes

Husband

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Taco

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

Baby

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

Law

Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?

Answer: Insider trading.

Memes

Actor

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Math

Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.

Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.

Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.

The answer is 0.

Atm

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

Chicken

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

Cat

Why didn’t the cat cross the road?

Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.

Self-esteem

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Inspiration

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

People

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

Orphan

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

Kid

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

Pi

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.