Answer jokes

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.

Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.

Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.

The answer is 0.

How does cheese rat cheese?

It cheeses.

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?

Answer: Insider trading.

Why didn’t the cat cross the road?

Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.

What does an orphan call a family picture?

Answer: a selfie.

What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?

Answer: Crimea River!

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

What does a person eat before a race?

Answer: They fast.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.