Answer jokes
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Question: Why was "6" scared?
Answer: Because "7" ate "9"!
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
Why?
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.