Answer jokes
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Why?
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
Why couldn't the toilet cross the road?
Answer: 'Cause it got stuck in the crack.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!