Answer jokes
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because thereβs no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Memes
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
Why couldn't the toilet cross the road?
Answer: 'Cause it got stuck in the crack.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
Question: Why was "6" scared?
Answer: Because "7" ate "9"!
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
How much do pirate earrings cost? π€
Answer: A buck an ear. π€£