what goes in and takes a while to come out?
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
What is 1 + 1? They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
What do you call and Orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement
What happens when you say hey siri? Stephen Halking answers.
Who's the Closest Family Member to Paul Walker? Answer: The Tree
dad why are we here because yur not lovded
Why could the blind man not see
Answer because he is blind
guess what ?
good guess
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
Question: How was Covid19 born? Answer:Someone fucked batman😂
katie Price's answer for everything is darkness. She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs. He asks her why she is crying and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her then jogs away.
The next day he finds her crying again and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up...and throws her in the pond telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Is your fridge running?
Why yes it is!
Then you better go catch it
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a...
CRACK IN IT!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
