ANS jokes

Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?

A. Spiderman: No Way Home.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Q: An apple gets picked.

What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?

A selfie.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."

There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?

A human chandelier.

What makes an ISIS joke funny?

The execution.

Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?

A. The anti-Family Guy episode.

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!