ANS jokes
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and a trash bag?
At least the trash bag gets picked.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?