ANS jokes
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Q: An apple gets picked.
What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?
A selfie.
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.