ANS jokes

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

What happens if an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?

He breaks his nose.

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?

A. The anti-Family Guy episode.

What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!

What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

I cry when I chop up onions.

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.