ANS jokes
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
What happens if an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.