ANS jokes
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.