ANS jokes

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...

Man, I love working at an orphanage.

What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?

With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

An outlaw is wanted.

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks, "What gave me away?"

The man responds, "Your parents."

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

What’s an orphan's favorite movie?

Spider-Man: No Way Home.

What's an emo's favorite game?

Limbo.

(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.

I had a dog with an eating disorder.

He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.