ANS jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.

What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?

An avacodo.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.

What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.

Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.

Your hairline is an artificial fact.

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?

A book has papers.

What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?

An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”

"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”

“Where do you come from?"

"Rome."

“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"No, Rome, Italy, of course."

“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”

To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"

"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"No, Rome, Italy, of course."

"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”

Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"

"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"Rome, Italy."

"No, sorry, never heard of him.”

Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"

"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"He says Rome, Italy."

"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?

Because it doesn't have a home button.

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

What's the best competition to do with an orphan?

Which orphan had their parent for the longest?

Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house. Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.