ANS jokes
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"