ANS jokes

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

What do you call an angry Texan?

A Confederate leader.

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.

(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")

Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?

Been fostered.

What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?

Society.

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

What is flatter than an Asian?

Their nose.

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

A man gets an email from his doctor.

"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."

The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.