ANS jokes

An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.

An orphan's favorite Roblox game is Adopt Me.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.

It was impossible to put down.

What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?

A family portrait.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?

Vin Diesel has family.

My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.

What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?

Driving under the influencer.

What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?

Not sure, I just fly the drone.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?

Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."

What movie does an orphan hate?

"Spider-Man: Far From Home."

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.