ANS jokes
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
What movie does an orphan hate?
"Spider-Man: Far From Home."
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
An orphan's favorite Roblox game is Adopt Me.