ANS jokes
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.