ANS jokes
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex? An and Or!
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
If an emo kid takes an over-the-counter medication, will they be happy?
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.