ANS jokes
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.