ANS jokes
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?
Because he is the only one.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Does a midget count as an orphan?