ANS jokes
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?
Foster’s.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"
What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.
Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.