ANS jokes
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?
It has a home button.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”