ANS jokes

Kid: I have the corona virus!

Nurse: Here is an ice pack.

Why did an Indian cross the road?

To take a shit.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair back, she looks 15.

The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.

"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"

What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?

Twilight Special.

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.

It gave me a discount!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Who.

Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?

We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...

Then we took an Arab to the knee.

What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.

What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

Judge: But why?

Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.