ANS jokes
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.