ANS jokes
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
What did an orange say the day before going to work?
"Back to the rind!"
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!