ANS jokes
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?
It has a home button.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.