ANS jokes
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian? The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
"Dustin Jordan Manna should have been an abortion."