ANS jokes
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”