Animal jokes
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.
-THE END-
This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"