If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
They are hairy.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
