Animal

Animal jokes

Cow

I was going to tell you a cow joke...

But it's pasture bed time.

Bird

What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?

A brrrrrrrr-d!

Whale

So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

Duck

Why do ducks have feathers?

So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)

  • 1
  • Memes

    Hamster

    When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

    Food

    I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.

    Zoo

    Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

    Elephant

    God: (creating elephants) Make it big.

    Angel: How big?

    God: As big as my d--

    Angel: Whoa!

    God: Fine, 10 feet tall.

    Angel: That's big bu--

    God: Put a long thing on its face.

    Kangaroo

    What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.

    What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.

    Hay

    How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?

    The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).

    Homework

    Teacher: What does a chicken give you?

    Student: An egg!

    Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?

    Student: Homework!

    Koala

    Why did the koala climb the tree?

    To get to the other branch. :)

    He made it, don't worry!

  • 1
  • Koala

    Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.

    Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.

    Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.

    Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.

    Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.

    Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.

    Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.

  • 0