Animal jokes
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
How do fish get to school?
On a octobus.
Lol.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!