Animal jokes
What did the cow jump over?
The Moon.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college? Bye-son.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.