Animal jokes
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Memes
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
A cheetah and a lion are racing.
The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "You a cheetah!"
The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"