Animal jokes
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover their butt. Quack!
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Bald Eagle.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What did the porg say to the porg?
Hi Porg.
You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.