What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
Animal Jokes
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
What do you call a caterpillar that's sad?
A sad caterpillar.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
