Animal Jokes

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?

Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!

Question: How did the cat cross the river?

Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer

what do you call a animal flouting

super bird

The image shows a poster with the text "NETFLIX PRESENTS" in red, followed by "POLAR BEARS" in white. Below, "A DOCUMENTARY" is written in smaller letters. In the background, three black bears are seen on a field.

I really wanna hit you right now but that would be animal abuse

AOT > ur fav anime

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 15 years.

Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

(I would never do that though I love puppies)

One hot day a cow wanted some shade.

He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."

A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?

I love 💕 animals

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

Dog.

Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."

Top ten dog breeds:

10. Dogs

9. Are

8. Beautiful

7. Animals

6. And

5. Judgement

3. Is

2. Cruel

1. Dachshund

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"