Animal jokes
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
Memes
Me ND my kitty
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.