Animal jokes
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
Why was the elephant woozy?
Because he was trunk.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
What's green then red all over?
A frog in a blender! :)
Dodo.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.