Animal jokes
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
A black cat will be racist next.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
Memes
Me ND my kitty
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.