Animal jokes
You look as fat as a pig.
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Memes
Good Morning. I LIKE COFEEEEEEE
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
What's a cheetah's favorite food?
Fast food!
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Animals are just... so hot!
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.