Animal jokes
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
You look as fat as a pig.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
uh oh
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
What bird is good at gaming? A game bird.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Animals are just... so hot!
LYNXXXXXXX!
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.