Animal jokes
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
Did you adopt your dog?
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
Why are fish smart?
They live in a school.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!