Animal jokes
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Memes
gomgjg
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
LYNXXXXXXX!