Animal jokes
Why was there a, ummmmm, a cow?
.......... To moo.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Memes
i need coffee where can i get some
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
Who is the king of the insects 🐜?
The Monarch!
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
What is mad cow disease?
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is a cheetah's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Why did the qack go duck?
I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.