Animal jokes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
The butt quack one.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
You look as fat as a pig.
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?
There cheetah you.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.