Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
my cats dunking on Micheal Jordan
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
Which Roman emperor was a mouse?
Julius Cheeser.
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.