Animal jokes
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
What's green then red all over?
A frog in a blender! :)
Dodo.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.