Animal jokes
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.
Memes
hmmm
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.