Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!