Animal jokes
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.