Animal jokes
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
cat..............Just a cat here
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
Why do cheetahs always cheat?
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.