Animal jokes
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂