Animal jokes
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?
Because he wanted it to smell good.
Lol, dick, I'm the dick and duck.
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.