Animal jokes
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
What do you call a bear with no ear?
B.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because they have smelly feet!
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.