What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
Animal Jokes
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How many children does Explain Bear have?
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
