Animal jokes
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!