Animal jokes
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
JAW don't know sh*t!
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
Why did the cheetah go to school?
To be a cheetah.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.