Animal jokes
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
The chicken is so fat.