Animal jokes
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
Memes
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
The chicken is so fat.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
I love my dog, Sadie.
What do you call a cow with no leg?
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!