Animal jokes
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! 🐄💤
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.