Where do rabbits eat breakfast? -- IHOP.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
3 rednecks Billy,Joe and John talk about they hobbies, they agree shooting. John says i like shooting animals. Joe says I like shooting birds. Billy says I like shooting cans. Joe and John ask "what kind of can like bear cans, pepsi cans or cola cans". Billy respond Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans and Asian Americans.
What do you call an idiotic cow
A mis-steak!
What kind of bee cant fly? A KOBE
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’
Now, my wrists look like a tiger
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell Shocked
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
What do you call a funny cow? A cowmedian
So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? -- For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What animal is good at baseball ⚾️?
A bat 🦇!
I dated a furry once The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village
What talks high pitched and can’t fly?
A gay man in Iran
moo
