Animal jokes
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
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What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
What's a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
What is mad cow disease?
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.