Animal jokes
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
Memes
Americans:
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.