Animal jokes
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
Memes
Achievement get!
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂